Why are boundaries and values important?

There is a lot of discussion in my social circles at the moment about boundaries and values. They work together as your values determine what your boundaries are and where they are. 

Until the last couple of years, I had not truly articulated my values and boundaries. Everyone has values and boundaries in their personal and professional life. The problem is usually with articulating, enforcing and communicating your boundaries effectively. 

Every time you let someone cross or push one of your boundaries without speaking up, you are creating a problem for yourself.  You are telling this person that it is ok by letting it happen. Every time it happens, you allow your boundaries to shift. Which makes you feel resentful, yet the person doing it does not even know, Your actions are telling them what they are doing is ok. 

So, however hard it feels, speak up if your boundaries are crossed. It is much easier the first time than the tenth time. Do not complicate it, stick to the facts. You do not need to justify your boundaries, they are personal to you and based on your values, just communicate them.

For example when working with clients or staff, tell them when you are working. They may call or email outside your working hours, but they won't expect an instant response. With staff or clients you may have a policy to text outside working hours in the event of an urgent situation that requires an immediate response, That way if you get a text you know you should look at it, yet there is no need to react to an email or even pick up the phone when you are not working. 

Personally one of my boundaries is that I do not work weekends or public holidays. If a client calls during the weekend I do not answer the phone, as that would be crossing my boundary (unless it is a client who never calls outside business hours, then I would assume it is an emergency). Now in bookkeeping and payroll there are lots of deadlines and they are important, but it is not a life or dead matter that needs to be done during the weekend. Staff or clients text me if they need an urgent response, as I do not monitor my emails every minute I would never get any work done :). You can communicate that you do not work in the weekends in several ways. Prewritten replies on phone and email "Sorry, you reached me outside working hours, please leave a message or send me an email and I will look at it when I am back at work." or incorporate your working hours in your phone message/email signature.

The values that are behind not working in the weekend are balance between work and personal life, my need to be outside and with friends and my pets to recharge. Nobody can work 24/7; you decide what is right for you and communicate this to your clients and staff. 

Take care of yourself by setting and communicating your boundaries. You cannot help others if there is nothing left in your tank.

Nor can you have healthy relationships if you are angry that your boundaries are crossed. It can be little things your housemates not cleaning up after themselves, always leaving the toilet seat up or borrowing your things without your permission. We all know know how exhausting lots of little irritations can be. Have you communicated these boundaries or do you (grudgingly) clean up, put the seat down and retrieve your possessions time and time again without letting them know they crossed your personal boundaries?

Which boundary are you setting and communicating now?